This post is a response to the endless food postings on (fill in your favorite social media outlet).
Here we feature our artisanal, seared Ponderosa Pine Bark, served with baby green Crab Apple on a luscious bed of lightly fried Rain Gutter Sludge. Accoutrements include our aged Ash Leaf and crisp red Walnut Leaf (seasonal). Our famous side dish of steamed acorns under toothpick hawthorns provide palate cleansing delight that makes way for the richest, deepest, leggy Paisano (vintage Thursday!) found anywhere. $185 per person. (Served outdoors. Placemats vary with availability).